It ain’t over ’till the fat lady sings!

by Stefmanovic


Hey! You! Yeah, you…aren’t you disgusted?

I open my eyes. I fell asleep, apparently the NS (Dutch railway company) has taught me how to sleep standing up. It’s around 5:30 in the afternoon, outside it’s grey and raining cats and dogs (who ever came up with that expression anyways?).

Even though this is probably the busiest time of the day, the railway company use the larger trains for all those hours in which people don’t seem to use it. I’m standing somewhere surrounded by old people and screaming children, wondering why teleportation hasn’t been invented yet. This was supposed to be my “I-am-pretending-to-be-an-author-moment” in which I can continue working on some stories to sort of create a portfolio. But no, I’m in an overcrowded train.

There is some commotion further down in the train. Something happened, probably a fat woman who fell on her back and can’t get up. I decide to fall asleep…

Some whiny voice awakes me. “Hey! You! Yeah, you…” Fuck, this person wants something from me. I hope it’s not money or devotion. The commotion apparently hasn’t stopped. There are people squatting around it. I get to see two butt-cracks: a hairy one, male: and a female one sort of covered by a red thong. Butts surrounding a fat turtle lady.

“That’s disgusting!”

I wonder if she’s whining about hairy butt of the thong butt. Neither of them look really nice anyways, so it’s very possible that she’s offended by both of them.

“See those people sitting on the chairs around her, they don’t even get up to offer her a seat!”

She’ll pulling a face as if I should be agreeing right now. I’m getting the impression as if she’s disgusted by the fact that she feels that society has forced that squatting girl to expose her thong, and that those people around her don’t rescue her from this exposure by offering her a seat.

I was mistaken. Apparently she was talking about the turtle lady who fell on her back and can’t get up. I start to wonder how it was possible for the woman to fall. The train was quite crammed, meaning that any movement besides breathing would have been impossible. I’m surprised that she didn’t take any others with her as her body crashed on the floor.

Nobody is really helping her up, the lady is still on her back. Will she die if she stays in that position? Kind of like cockroaches?

I ignore the nagging girl and fall asleep again.

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